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      夸奖宝宝要遵循怎样的原则

      夸奖宝宝要遵循怎样的原则

      夸奖宝宝,就像使用抗生素一样,需要有一定的标准,如果夸奖不到位,对孩子也会产生负面影响。那么夸奖宝宝要遵循怎样的原则呢?

      夸事实不夸人格

      “你真是一个乖宝宝啊”就是是典型的夸人格,家长们会无心地将其挂在嘴边。但“乖”是一个很虚无的概念,如果孩子总被扣上这样一顶大帽子,对他反而是种压力。你可以试着在“你真是一个乖宝宝啊”这句之前,加一段对宝宝行为的描述“宝宝洗完澡以后,会自己上床睡觉,真是一个乖宝宝??!”这样会让宝宝会知道,你表扬他是对他之前行为的肯定。

      夸具体不夸全部

      不要总是笼统地表扬孩子“你真棒”,这会让孩子无所适从。如果孩子只是端了一次饭,妈妈与其兴高采烈地表示“好孩子,你真棒”,不如告诉他“谢谢你帮妈妈端饭,妈妈很开心”。有针对性的具体表扬会让孩子更容易理解,并且知道今后应该怎么做,如何努力。

      夸努力不夸聪明

      “你真聪明!”一定是爸爸妈妈惯用的评语。家长对孩子的每一个进步如果都用“聪明”来定义,结果只能是让孩子觉得好成绩是与聪明划等号,一方面他会变得“自负”而非“自信”,另一方面,他们面对挑战会采取回避,因为不想出现与聪明不相符的结果。

      美国的研究人员让幼儿园孩子解决了一些难题,然后,对一半的孩子说:“答对了8道题,你们很聪明?!倍粤硪话胨担骸按鸲?道题,你们很努力?!?接着让他们选择两种任务:一种是可能出一些差错,但最终能学到新东西的任务;另一种是有把握能够做得非常好的。结果被夸聪明的孩子中只有30%选择具有挑战性的任务;而被夸努力的孩子中又90%选择了具有挑战性的任务。被夸聪明的孩子怕出现失误,被人说不聪明,不敢挑战;而被夸努力的孩子相信只要自己付出就会有收获,所以他更愿意接受挑战。

      编辑推荐

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